Last Week's Review
Weekend Review of the Last Week of My Life
Words
“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
― C.G. Jung
This will be a place where I share myself - what I’ve been doing, thinking and how I’ve spent the last week of my life. If that interests you, welcome. Glad you’re here and hope you find something that resonates or inspires.
Music
This last week I’ve spent a lot of time with my old and soulful favorites. A friend of mine recently posted about how listening to your FAVORITE songs releases dopamine, which was a great reminder to crank it up. I always do life to music, usually Jazz… Coltrane, Ellington, Bechet, Davis. My guys. But this week I intentionally just sat and listened and felt. And I went back to some of my favorites and relived the entire albums. This TW classic always takes the cake. Mournful and reminiscent of a time in my life when responsibilities didn’t feel so burdensome.
I Watched
The Bear Season 3, Perfect Wife, & Six Schizophrenic Brothers. Though generally The Bear left me wanting so much more, I still cried like a baby during each episode. It’s such an illustration of toxic patterns and the relationship between that and habitual perfectionism, and seeing beauty and potential in the minutia, which I am all about. It all makes my heart ache. I love it, and I want more. Perfect Wife was a wild ride, both entertaining, shocking, fascinating and sad. Six Schizophrenic Brothers was also a wild ride which sent me deep into a rabbit hole, googling all the things. Whoa.
Books
One of my oldest and dearest friends sent me Mary Oliver’s 12 Moons, and I’ve been sparingly reading it and savoring each word. Sadly, I’ve finished.
“You light the lamps because you are alone in your small house and the wicks sputtering gold are like two visitors with good stories they will tell slowly, in soft voices, while the air outside turns quietly a grainy and luminous blue. You wish it would never change - but of course the darkness keeps its appointment. Each evening, an inscrutable presence, it has the final word outside every door.”
I am halfway through a “beach read” as the kids say, Claire Lombardo’s, “The Most Fun We Ever Had.” It’s a not too light, but not too heavy family saga and is pretty fun. I am waiting for my next books to arrive in the mail - “The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo” & “The Light We Lost.” Two weeks ago, I finished, “First Lie Wins,” and it was nothing but fun… a total page turner.
Favorite Moments
*Watching the Fourth of July fireworks from our backyard - feeling like we were totally in the country but could see them so perfectly. It was a dream come true, sitting in the back of the pickup, singing songs and ooooooing and ahhhhhhing.
*Cooking summer brunches. It’s become a thing in our household, that nobody is really ready to eat until later in the morning which gives me time for my morning routine rejuvenation and then I make a big, giant brunch for my 3 boys… Nutella pancakes, fried eggs, Jimmy Dean, whatever their hearts desire. And really, nothing brings me more joy.
*My morning routine. I have found that in my sobriety, playing with routines and creating moments that I look forward to has been life-giving. Pouring into myself and carving out time where I prioritize my mental and physical well-being is new to me and feels really, really good.
What I’m Cooking
Most of what I cook ends up in my stories on Instagram. A lot of it lately, in these summer months has come from my garden. One of tonight’s dishes was a definite favorite - tomato sauce all ingredients were from the organic, heirloom seeds I planted so long ago. It was a real treat.
Favorite Photo I Took This Week
Florida Swamp Lily, Crinum Americanum, at the Arboretum. “I saw God and he is a circle.”
What I Made
More Sense of Things.
What I’m Grateful For
This time. It’s not lost on me that I’m lucky to have this time, but this time also has purpose. I have to do this shadow-work and this intense recovering and healing right now. I have to use this time to heal myself, reparent myself, and find myself again. I can’t do anything that’s meaningful to me until I will myself back into health and vitality. So I’m grateful for this time during which I’m doing this hard work.
Something Wonderful I Noticed
I’m getting to know myself again. The me I was before life happened.
What Brought Me Joy
*Music
*Reading
*Tomatoes from my garden
*The boys laughing like crazy
*The color of the laundry room
*My elephant ears growing
Something I’m Thinking About
Being endlessly open. I feel so strongly that we are all sacred and sovereign beings. But so many of us limit ourselves - mostly due to fear perpetuated by our societal norms. Your capacity is limitless. Your ability to change, your will, your determination, is all vast and without boundaries.
This Week’s Prayer
“Open my eyes, that I may behold wonderful things from your teaching.” -Psalm 119:18